Feb. 13th, 2011

Chemistry

Feb. 13th, 2011 05:11 am
natkinnat: (mommy)
It was never a question to me that I'm sexually attracted to men and not women. I'm straight as a woman could only be.
I've never wanted to kiss a woman in my life, I'm positive about it.

But when it comes to that feeling that excites and pulls humans together, this chemistry that just there and nowhere to get away from it then. I can remember the last time I've had it with a woman.

She was a little older, had a husband and a daughter and a lover... So we were in hospital together with quite many other women in the room. When this need of physical nearness got really bad she got into my bed beside me (we both fully clothed) and we enjoyed the fluctuations of flow circulation through our bodies. And then this was done, the need subsided and never came back that bad again, though we didn't see each other much later anyway but I have a vivid memory of her.

I remembered about this looking through Randy Harrison and Gale Harold together photos in the Internet. Gale is straight and all, but the chemistry is there, no doubt. I'm not sure how it works with men. But I know that anyone I have this thing with is a special person in my inner life, no matter how long or short our time together was and no matter if we even kissed. It worked this way since I was a kid, I like a person or not based on this feeling within, and the stronger the feeling was the more I liked (was attracted to) the person.

So there they are the invisible strings of life attached to everyone, energy lines, karma, I don't know, whatever it is called, it is quite physical, though invisible.

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